Tag Archives: friends

Singles ~ need emotionally mature friends

Friends 2Are your friends the ones who commiserate with you? The ones who say, “After all you’ve been through, go ahead and do that?” Whatever “that” is.

You don’t yet have a spouse to give you clear insight, balance. It’s very likely you’re not under parental direction. At this point, more than ever, you need emotionally anchored friends. It doesn’t matter if you’re never married, divorced, or a widow/widower. You need stable friends, steady friends….friends who give wise counsel.

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. ~ Proverbs 18:24 [New Living Translation]

friends 3

Things a true friend might say that are not easy to hear:

  • He/she’s no go for you. In fact, he/she’s plain no good.
  • Don’t be alone in a room with that woman/man. Not ever!
  • I love you, but you have to look at how much you’re drinking.
  • You’re weekends are sneaking into Monday. Better get to work on time.
  • Don’t you think you’ve carried that grudge long enough? Your obsessed with it and it’s negatively coloring your life. It seems you’re never happy anymore.
  • I know I’m a frugal fiend, but honestly, you tend to overspend. You need to pay your bills, not buy a $500 watch. Think of the credit card interest.
  • Don’t promise your child, parent, boss something when you know you can’t deliver.
  • Please don’t repeat that about Jane/Joe again. I’m sure it’s not true.
  • I respect your beliefs/politics, but they’re not mine. Let’s keep that out of the friendship. We have so many other things in common that we both enjoy.

If two or more friends have said something like this, it’s probably something worth taking a good look at…even if it’s uncomfortable.

Friends 4

Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? ~  (Proverbs 20:6 [New Living Translation]

 

 

 


Our Closest Relationships ~ how we damage them

Friends 3RELATIONSHIP, perhaps one of the most important and powerful words ever.

I’m a firm believer that my relationship with God is the most important relationship I have. It’s the one that upholds everything else in my life.

Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” ~ Genesis 2:18 [New American Standard Bible]

We were created to have relationships. In our society today we seem to be so isolated, lonely, even desperate. Depression seems to be epidemic. I know that in my life, building relationships with other people has been the key to happier days.

Yet, relationships are so easily damaged. Here is a list of five things (done to me, done to others, or I’ve done) that I’ve learned, from painful experience are huge NO-Nos. We could each make up our own list, and in fact, that’s a great idea. Make your personal list. Here’s mine.

1. Don’t take loved ones for granted and stop putting in effort. Don’t think they’ll always be there. For one reason or another, one day they won’t. Don’t stop treating them like they’re special. Don’t forget birthdays, anniversaries, school events and other occasions, family celebrations.

2. Don’t demean your loved one/friend in public. Don’t show greater respect to someone of higher status, of greater wealth, or who is just plain flashy…when that person will mean nothing to you in the long term and will have little impact on your life. Don’t constantly correct your loved one in public (or in private, for that matter).

3. Don’t constantly show you can do things better than your loved one. When your spouse, child, sibling, parent, friend washes the dishes, don’t pick up the water glasses, inspecting for spots and then begin to wash them over. This is an example. Anything in this vein is an insult.

horse laughing

4. Don’t engage in negative joking and banter, as a practice, with the ones you love. Have you noticed on reality TV these days the couples and/or family members are constantly belittling each other in the form of a joke? This is not good. This is hurtful. Because we are bombarded by this type of behavior on TV, doesn’t make is a healthy thing to do in our relationships. Habitual put-down jokes are very destructive.

5. Don’t lie…don’t sneak…and don’t cheat. Self-explanatory. Self-evident.

Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. ~ Luke 6:31 [New American Standard Bible]

 

 


Thanksgiving Day ~ what it means to me

Thanksgiving Turkey

When I came across this turkey in the oven photo, it reminded me so much of the way my grandmother roasted her turkey. Boy did that bring back fond memories.

Thanksgiving Day, here in America,  is a time to gather with family and friends to hang out and enjoy each other’s company, to give thanks,  watch a game, go to a parade or watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade on television. Everyone has their own favorite float or balloon. I personally, always wait for Santa at the end of the parade.

Thanksgiving weekend is the most traveled weekend of the year. It’s a time when loved ones make the effort to be together. This is a grand American tradition, complete with long lines at ticket counters.

Yet, everyone I know who is celebrating this holiday has personal issues, sadness, or tragedy. Sons and daughters are in the military and are stationed in dangerous locales, or simply stationed far from home and can’t get leave. A beloved family member or friend is battling an illness. Some are in dire financial straits. Others are going through a divorce. Yet others have lost a loved one.

I am grateful for all the people in my life who lift their chins and walk-the-walk, making it one-day-at-a-time. I’m so very grateful for them and they are an inspiration to me. I’m grateful to God for the role He plays in my loved ones lives, blessing them, even when they don’t realize He’s blessing them.

I’m also grateful for the Americans who came before me, who built this great nation. I’m grateful to the founding fathers, but I’m also grateful to the men who built the railroads, the bridges and tunnels. I’m grateful to women factory workers, farm workers, teachers, nurses, doctors, police, and many more. And don’t forget the IT guy. I know without a doubt that I’m standing on the shoulders of giants.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone, may you be blessed beyond measure in all ways.

 

2 Corinthians 9:11-12 Living Bible (TLB)

11 Yes, God will give you much so that you can give away much, and when we take your gifts to those who need them they will break out into thanksgiving and praise to God for your help.

12 So two good things happen as a result of your gifts—those in need are helped, and they overflow with thanks to God.


Jailhouse Hooch ~ a recipe

Oranges

Courtesy of FreeImages by Gabriel77

 

Nancy W. came to my mind today. I knew her many years ago, when I was a single working girl living in Miami. (Trust me, a looong time ago.) She was a loyal member of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). She’s passed now, and I suppose I could use her last name, but I won’t.

Nancy W. was a blue blood, truly. Her ancestors came over on the Mayflower. Her family is in the social register. I went to several open AA meetings (open to non-alcoholics) with Nancy. That was in the 1970s and members came to evening meetings from work dressed in polyester pantsuits, or well worn-in dungarees, depending upon the type of job. This was south Florida, so some came in shorts, some in short-shorts. Nancy wore a pleated skirt, white or pastel blouse, and pearls.

Nancy told me about the highlight of one of her trips to Manhattan (NYC). She accompanied her chic socialite friend to an AA meeting in the East Village. Both women always sat in the front row when they’d been in boarding school, and they did so at this meeting. They didn’t want to miss anything. Her friend was decked out in a fur coat (animals lovers, please don’t judge). It was a small meeting place, and the meeting had already begun when an obviously inebriated man walked, or careened in. The only seat left was in the front row, right next to the lady in the fur coat. The speaker kept on with his story about getting sober. All of a sudden the drunk threw up on the floor smack-dab front of the podium and in close proximity to Nancy and her friend. The speaker didn’t miss a beat, kept on talking. Nancy and her friend sat there unfazed while someone rushed forward with a mop. Another member guided the drunken man to the back to feed him some strong coffee. When retelling this story, Nancy remarked, “That man is a drunk, just like me.”

Nancy was one to write down recipes. While watching a TV morning or afternoon show, if a celebrity demonstrated how to make something scrumptious, she would write the recipe down on the back of a stray envelope or a piece of scrap paper. One evening, Nancy attended an AA meeting where the now long-sober speaker had once done time in prison. He gave the recipe for jailhouse hooch and, naturally, Nancy grabbed a piece of paper out of her handbag and wrote it down. While joking one day, she showed the “recipe” to me and I wrote it down. Here it is…

Jail House Hooch a/k/a Pruno

1. Take one empty paint can, wash well. [Note: Nancy copied this recipe in the 1970s. I have on good authority that inmates use huge Ziploc baggies now.]

Courtesy of FreeImages by loungefrog

Courtesy of FreeImages by loungefrog

2. Combine in the can 10 peeled oranges and one 8 oz can of fruit cocktail (stockpiled from lunches or filched from the kitchen). Mash well. Add 16 oz of tap water, mix, and reseal can (or baggie). Wrap can in a towel and store in a warm place hidden from the guards. Let sit 48 hours.

3. Open the can (baggie). The mixture should have ballooned and there should be a smell of fermentation. That would be true in wineries, in this case it’s more like rotten fruit. Add 50 cubes of white sugar,  5 tsp (or 5 packets) of Heinz Ketchup, must be Heinz. Mix to stir ketchup through and to dissolve sugar. Put the cover back on the can and seal. Wrap it up in the towel again and store in a warm place (if you used a baggie, run it under hot water for 30 min.) and be sure to keep it away from the guards, but a place that is accessible so you can let gases out. Don’t want to be cleaning this stuff off the walls.

4. Twenty-four hours later, open can and let some fermentation gasses escape.

5. Twenty-four hours later, open can and let some fermentation gasses escape, place it near a heat source (oven or radiator) for half an hour (or run the baggie under hot water) to keep the fermentation going.

6. Twenty-four hours later, let gasses out, sit near a heat source (oven or radiator for half and hour), reseal, wrap in towel and put away again.

7. Twenty-four hours later, open can and let gasses out, sit near a heat source (oven or radiator for half and hour), reseal, wrap in towel and put away again.

8. The next day open the can, fish out the rotten fruit and the yukky mold. Strain the liquid carefully through a wire, mesh strainer. And it’s ready to drink.

Does it taste like Scotch, bourbon, Irish Whiskey, or brandy? In a word, NO! It tastes like a mixture of rot-gut and gasoline, and only gives a measly, minor buzz. It’s more sickening than inebriating, but it does, in fact, inebriate somewhat.

Here’s a spiritual thought. You might consider asking for Last Rites before drinking Jailhouse Hooch

Coourtesy of FreeImages by KodakGold

Coourtesy of FreeImages by KodakGold


2015 ~ the next “story” in life’s series

Courtsey of FreeImage by phostezel

Courtsey of FreeImage by phostezel

 

To me, the beginning of a New Year is much like turning the first page of the next novel in a series I’ve been following. I finished the last novel and it was thrilling, and I miss the characters and have been eagerly anticipating the next novel. Or, the author disappointed, yet I feel compelled to read on out of loyalty to the characters.

Of course, in the case of a New Year, I’m the author (along with God) and I’m the main character in my yearly saga. And yes, I most certainly do feel compelled to read on (and write on) out of loyalty to the character.

I recently read that New Year’s Day is the most widely celebrated holiday on the planet, with nearly every nation and ethnic group taking part in the party.

Ringing out 2014 has held some sadness for me. The traditionally sung song for this holiday, Auld Lang Syne, written in the 1700s by Scottish poet Robert Burns as a poem of reflection and remembrance, fits my mood this year. The news has been horrible for much of the year. ISIS. Ebola. Just to mention two.

My family has faced some difficult challenges and losses in 2014. One that’s fairly easy to verbalize is the theft of my computer. The grinch that stole it right before Christmas had it stolen from her, we found out. Of course all these young people deny  having stolen anything. But the ones who wound up with it tried to hack into a few of my accounts, unsuccessfully. I had to change passwords because there had been too many attempts to gain access. That was a royal pain. On the plus side, I got a new pair of glasses that make me look really sweet.

Christine Sloat WhiteIn 2014, I lost my oldest childhood friend, Christine Sloat White, after a valiant battle with ovarian cancer. She was not only beautiful on the outside, but on the inside…and such a classy lady, dear to me, and so missed. Our mutual friend, Carol Dilberian, helped me get through the loss of Christine and as well as through other challenges I faced in the past year. Carol lives on the other side of the country. I wish she lived closer so I could drop by for a cuppa, as I used to do. Thank God for phones and Facebook.

A Christmas Prayer, a novella

A Christmas Prayer, a novella

 

I’m looking forward to the New Year largely because of good friends. Two friends who must get a shout out are Christian author Linda Woods Rondeau and her husband Steve. Not only will I give a shout out, I’ll do a bit of shameless promoting for her hoping her New Year sees a jump in sales. Another gal who needs to be mentioned is author and real estate professional Lynn W. Rix. I’ll be relocating in 2015 and Lynn has been helping in finding that perfect house.

Another positive note to 2014 is that I lost over 25 pounds and reconstituted my diet and my lifestyle to healthier eating.

Courtesy of FreeImages, by RICHARDJT

Courtesy of FreeImages, by RICHARDJT

 

 

Last year I made a blessing jar, and I will again this year. I think it’s especially important and emotionally healthy to remember the year’s blessings, especially when a difficult year has gone by. Of course, I’ll put some kind of fancy ribbon on the new jar and label it. I always put the names of people into the jar who I’ve been praying for all year long. It’s a nice feeling to pull their names out at the beginning of the new year. I also have prayer requests I made at the beginning of the previous year in the jar. It’s interesting to look back and see where God said, “Yes,” and where he said, “Wait,” or perhaps, “No.”

IMG_1429Wishing you all a happy and blessed New Year


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