Are your friends the ones who commiserate with you? The ones who say, “After all you’ve been through, go ahead and do that?” Whatever “that” is.
You don’t yet have a spouse to give you clear insight, balance. It’s very likely you’re not under parental direction. At this point, more than ever, you need emotionally anchored friends. It doesn’t matter if you’re never married, divorced, or a widow/widower. You need stable friends, steady friends….friends who give wise counsel.
There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. ~ Proverbs 18:24 [New Living Translation]
Things a true friend might say that are not easy to hear:
- He/she’s no go for you. In fact, he/she’s plain no good.
- Don’t be alone in a room with that woman/man. Not ever!
- I love you, but you have to look at how much you’re drinking.
- You’re weekends are sneaking into Monday. Better get to work on time.
- Don’t you think you’ve carried that grudge long enough? Your obsessed with it and it’s negatively coloring your life. It seems you’re never happy anymore.
- I know I’m a frugal fiend, but honestly, you tend to overspend. You need to pay your bills, not buy a $500 watch. Think of the credit card interest.
- Don’t promise your child, parent, boss something when you know you can’t deliver.
- Please don’t repeat that about Jane/Joe again. I’m sure it’s not true.
- I respect your beliefs/politics, but they’re not mine. Let’s keep that out of the friendship. We have so many other things in common that we both enjoy.
If two or more friends have said something like this, it’s probably something worth taking a good look at…even if it’s uncomfortable.
Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is truly reliable? ~ (Proverbs 20:6 [New Living Translation]